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A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary. As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband, "When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind?"
The husband replied, "All I wanted to do was to fuck your brains out, and suck your tits dry."
Then, as the wife undressed, she asked, "What are you thinking now?"
He replied, "It looks as if I did a pretty good job."
| | SITES
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Bad Gift -Emporium!
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Uncle -Dirty!
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One -Across!
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Pinstruck -Voodoo!
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10 Cool -Chemical Reactions!
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Bow Master!-Game Of The Week!
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ODD NEWS
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LAMBERTVILLE, Mich. - A Monroe County sheriff's detective on a stakeout to catch an arsonist arrested the suspect as he tried to steal gas from the officer's cruiser. Officers were placed around homes currently under construction after police had gotten two arson complaints within the past week.
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Several officers, including Detective Thomas Redmond, watched the 17-year-old walk away from his Lambertville home early Sunday carrying a bucket before he approached Redmond's unmarked vehicle.
Police say the teen unscrewed the gas cap and started siphoning the fuel before Redmond got out of the car and chased him.
Authorities say the teen later admitted to the two arsons as well as three other arsons in 2006.
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VID OF THE WEEK |
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| ASK BISHOP |
Submitted by: C.J.
Q:Dear Bishop,
I recently began re-watching the Star Wars saga beginning with Episode 1: The Phantom Menace, and found myself wondering what my metachlorian count was. Any ideas on how I can find out?
A:Dear Que Cum Jin,
Midichlorian counts are extremely difficult to measure without certain tools. For those not equipped with the Mark Felching Triton Deluxe III Modular Chlorian Analyzer, the best way to judge your Midichlorian count is to compare skills with those within history whose counts ARE documented.
Freddie Mercury 28,500 pre AIDS/32,000 after diagnosis
Anakin Skywalker/Darth Vader = 27,700/17,500 in suit
Darth Sidious/Palpatine (with Kyber Crystal) = 20,500
Yoda = 17,700
Luke Skywalker = 14,500
Anakin Solo (New Jedi Order novels) = 13,700
Darth Plagueis (Darth Sidious' master) = 13,600
Count Dooku/Tyranus = 13,500
Obi-Wan Kenobi = 13,400
Kaja Sinis (the first Jedi) = 13,250
Tom Cruise = 12,200
Mace Windu = 12,000
Darth Maul = 12,000
Jared Kurtz = 10,300
Qui-Gon Jinn = 10,000
Average Jedi = 10,000
Naga Sadow (Dark Lord of the Sith that fled to Yavin 4)= 9,400
Ron Jeremy = 9,300
Jacen Solo (New Jedi Order novels) = 9,000
Jaina Solo (New Jedi Order novels) = 9,000
Jedi Master Cihgal (New Jedi Order novels) = 9,000
Darth Rage (Sidious' apprentice after Darth Maul) = 9,000
Roger Clemens after roids = 5,800
Roger Clemens pre roids = 3,300
Boba Fett= 1,500
Han Solo = 1,500
Jar Jar Binks = 1,500
Frogs in Jabbas tank = 50
Jarhead = 30
You = 6
As you can see, the average human is around 1500 with you bringing down the average with a solid 6. Don't bother trying to move objects with your mind just yet.
XOXO Bishop
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