There was a guy riding through the desert on his camel. He had been travelling so long that he felt the need to have sex. Obviously there were no women in the desert so the man turned to his camel.
He tried to position himself to have sex with his camel but the camel ran away. The man ran to catch up to the camel and got back on and started to ride again. Soon he was feeling the urge to have sex again so once again he turned to his camel. The camel refused by running away. So he caught up to it again and go on it again.
Finally after riding the camel through the whole desert the man came to a road. There was a broken down car with three big chested beautiful blondes sitting in it.
He went up to them and asked the women if they needed any help.
The hottest girl said ,"If you fix our car we will do anything you want."
The man luckily knew a thing or two about cars and fixed it in a flash.
When he finished are three girls asked, "How could we ever repay you Mr."
After thinking for a short while he replied,"Could you hold my camel?"
I am what I could consider a typical guy. I like beer, football, and women who drink beer while watching football. Like most guys I constantly think about sex. My problem is that I frequently act on my thoughts which leads me to masturbate frequently. I normally have to "relieve myself" several times a day, which means sneaking off to a public restroom. Is there such a thing as excessive masturbation, and if so is it harmful to my health?
A:
Dear Happy Hanky,
While several times a day is slightly above the norm, it's not uncommon in our modern times of free ranging audio and visual stimulation. Most males post teenage years masturbate 18-22 times a month, with some participating 7-8 times per day!!! Females while averaging as much as the males during puberty, drastically decline as they age. Did you know that besides humans, chimps, monkey's, dolphins, and the greater apes have all been observed masturbating in some fashion? Methods are as varied as the frequency. The most common male masturbation technique is simply to hold the penis with a loose fist and then to move the hand up and down the shaft while plunging a dildo in the anus until orgasm and ejaculation take place. When uncircumcised, stimulation of the penis in this way comes from the "pumping" of the foreskin. (aka. Plubbing the Turtle) Next time your in the public restroom, try this: Sit in the stall and tap your foot under the stall next to you. You just might find someone that could "help" you out. Someone that knows as much about their needs as yours, and vice versa. Tootles!!!
An Italian football team has scored a controversial winner - by signing a sponsorship deal with an escort agency.
Outrage over escort agency
Outrage over escort agency
Trentino 1921 have received 10,000 euros (about £7,000) in the agreement which sees the name of the escort agency, Casa Bianca or White House, posted on the club's official website.
By clicking on to the logo - a white rose - surfers are taken to the Casa Bianca website, which warns it contains material of a sexual nature and users must be more than 18 years old.
The agency is based over the Austrian border in Innsbruck and describes itself as the "home of pleasure", adding that Casa Bianca is a "sensuous place to get everything you want".
On offer is a wide selection of escorts and by clicking on their name a description of each one is given, as well as a photo gallery.
One offer is Lea, a long haired 32-year-old brunette described as an " exciting girl from Austria" who is seen topless, while another is 24-year-old Elisabeth, who is said to have "wonderful eyes, wonderful body".
According to the website - which by mid morning yesterday had crashed due to overuse - the girls charge 180 euros (£130) an hour - and all major credit cards are accepted.
There is also a cashpoint within the building for customers' convenience.
However, the fourth division club's sponsorship deal has angered local councillors, especially the female councillor in charge of sport, Iva Berasi.
She stormed: "I find this absolutely amazing that the club should go into such a deal with an escort agency.
"This business, if one can call it a business, is making money by exploiting women's bodies and the club are receiving this money.
"If I am offended I can imagine that the women of the town must also feel as angry and as offended as I do. I hope that Trentino reconsider this agreement and remind them that they also receive council funds as well."
